It’s a funny thing – being thrown out of college like we’re supposed to be ready to have it “all together”. I’m lucky that I’ve always been a go-getter and dedicated to the things I love to do, which made the transition a bit easier than it may have been for others. But regardless, here I am taking it one day at a time. I used to work so hard thinking if I maintained these six!!!! jobs at one time, that surely it’ll guide me to a better understanding of myself and what’s best for me, where I should go, what I should do, blah blah blah… I guess the biggest lesson I’ve learned so far is that no matter how hard you work at achieving the next best thing, it won’t get you anywhere if you don’t stop to smell the roses.
As many of you know, I’ve had the ~pleasure~ of going through what you may call a self-identity “crisis” in the last few years. “Hey Lauren. I saw you rebranded AGAIN?” Yes. Yes I did. And while I felt I was keeping too much of that weight on my shoulders, I finally decided I needed to let that go. So yes, friends, here I am confessing that I am OKAY with it. I’ve proud that I’ve worked so hard to make it to where I am today. And maybe it’s a visible change, but regardless, it’s change.
I’ve never stopped to think about what it is that ~I~ truly wanted. Rather, I did what I felt like was going to get me somewhere in life so that others would look up to me. Money mindset, anyone? It’s a serious trap and brutal condition to find yourself in. And let me just tell you- it’s so damn hard to turn your eyes to the ideal “dream”. I get it. Like, I really get it. How are we supposed to pay rent on dreams? To just stop and force yourself to sit with your insecurities about money, mindset, life, etc.
So I thought about why I would need to think of any of that if I was already on the “right path”? Because I wasn’t. Not entirely. Sure I was making enough money, but it wasn’t the most authentic version of my own voice that I wanted others to hear. So I decided to make that change and accept it in all of its beautiful glory. And yes, it’s not easy. It will never be easy, at least not traditionally. But at the end of the day, I’m going to be happy that I let my passion fuel my dreams rather than the other way around. Because the money will come. I have faith in that. But your dreams will never become reality unless you make it to be. I started to find that very passion again when I paused the world around me. To think of all of the things I would have been proud of and excited for when I was a child if I were to look at the life I was living today.
So National Geographic dreams?! Bring it on. I may be doing it in my own way, but hey, I’m doing it. And isn’t that enough?